bittergrapes:
s-h-e-r-l-o-c-k-e-d:
bittergrapes:
girlargueswithtree:
did you know you can buy a 55 gallon barrel of personal lubricant on amazon?
well you can
Chelsea fucking stop
my god I’m so fucking horny right now and have nothing I can do to sate it ugh
Blue lips sooo bad
damnit ugh
“What are you going to do with all this lube?! Wrestling match? Biggest adult party ever? If you are looking for a simply jaw-dropping amount of lube, Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant is ready to get the fun started with this 55 gallon drum! With its superb formula you will have a natural feel that keeps you moist longer and also works great with all toy materials. Easily washes away with warm water and mild soap. You may never run out of lube again!”
Oh my god
You may never run out of lube again
That sounds like a challenge.
Challenge accepted.
Also:
“Includes pump.”
THE REVIEWS OH MY GOD
“A little over a decade ago, I bought my 55 gallon drum of lube. I never thought I’d use it all but a few days ago the pump finally ran dry. I’ve had a lot of good times with it. My wife, too. And not just what you’d think. One day I just hosed down our hardwood-floored hallway so I could use it as a slip-n-slide. You shouldn’t think of this as a ‘purchase.’ It’s an ‘investment.’ An investment sure to pay off in spades.”
“As a Fertility Specialist for Pachyderms, this was exactly what we needed to help rebuild elephant populations all over sub-saharan africa. It’s not all just Medications and IVF treatments. Some times you need a loudspeaker, a Barry White CD and a 55 Gallon drum of Lube.”
“This is a hazard! I’ve already lost two cats in this thing. There should be a warning sticker or something. I assumed the cats would float, but they sunk like rocks into the lube. And no, it’s not what you think. Don’t be disgusting. I was trying to create my own cat lube wrestling league. You know, for sickos.”
“I’m not pretty enough to “get it on” with anyone, but I’ll definitely say this stuff takes your normal, everyday slip and slide and kicks things up a notch! Broken bones notwithstanding, I highly recommend this product. Minus one star for not coming out of carpet. My bad, mom.”
“Sure go ahead, try out that first barrel at a cheap price. you thought it was a life time supply….but wait until you NEED one every month, then every week, then trucks backing up to your garage to unload a dozen. It starts with a little enhanced sex, with yourself, then your girlfriend, then just a few friends….eventually your house is full of people you don’t even know…. slippin’ and slidin’… from one end to the other of everything, including you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…Tis a slippery slope indeed!
And did I see an ad up there for used lubricant for only $1,495….I don’t think so!”
“Pros:
Moist!
Bulk savings!
Very slippery!
Container is easy to roll downhill and is large enough to hold most bodies.
Cons:
Unattractive packaging
Difficult to store
Tastes like paste”